Helping Your Child Keep Strong Moral Values Amidst Teenage Social Norms and Peer Pressure
It’s only natural — as children grow older, they’ll develop a stronger sense of independence and actively look to separate themselves from their parents. This is a good thing; we want our kids to grow into self-sufficient, responsible adults capable of managing their own individual lives. However, no child is immune from the inevitable pitfalls that come with growing up.
Peer pressure is everywhere. It’s incredibly hard to avoid, especially as kids start to seek peer acceptance and feel more pressure to fit in with their social influences. That’s why it’s incredibly important to talk to your children, instill strong moral values, and offer family support.
Let’s review what peer pressure is, how it affects kids, and different ways you can help set boundaries and encourage them to make informed decisions.
First, Let’s Define Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is any exertion of ideas or actions from someone’s environment or peer group. For teenagers, it’s everywhere and nearly impossible to avoid. Eighty-five percent of high school students have said they feel some sort of negative or positive peer influence.
Examples Of Peer Pressure: Both Negative And Positive Peer Pressure Hold Enormous Weight
Not only is peer pressure common, but it greatly affects a teenager’s friendship dynamics and social structure. It often guides many kids' actions while growing up and can present challenges and pitfalls to their development.
Seventy percent of teens start using drugs or alcohol after seeing their friends do it and 40% of young adults binge drink because of peer pressure. It’s an incredibly powerful and normal part of teenage life today.
However, while peer pressure is often thought to be negative, it can also play a positive role.
What Is Positive Peer Pressure?
Positive peer pressure is any sort of outside peer or societal influence that affects someone's actions or behaviors for the better. Verywell Family details a few examples of how peer pressure can leave a healthy impression on your child.
Examples Of Positive Peer Pressure
Studying: Friends that push each other to learn and grow both benefit academically.
Getting A Job: Working is a fantastic way for teenagers to learn responsibility.
Saving Money: It's never too early to learn how to save properly.
Volunteering: This is a terrific way to spend time with friends while also giving back to the community.
Playing Sports: Staying busy with an organized sports team helps kids make friends and participate in something bigger than themselves.
Going to church is also an excellent example of how peer pressure can help a young person through life. Organizations of faith provide strong moral guidance and a positive culture. The young men in The Carpenter Shed program find meaning through church every Sunday where we push them to be honest, caring, men of character and integrity.
What Is Negative Peer Pressure?
When people hear the term “peer pressure,” the most common association is negative. This involves anything harmful or damaging to your child’s well-being and growth. Here are a few examples of destructive behaviors commonly brought about by negative peer pressure.
Examples Of Negative Peer Pressure
Alcohol And Drugs: Studies show that teens who do drugs and drink are more likely to push their friends to do it as well.
Sex: About one third of teen boys feel pressured to have sex by their peers. This is especially common with boys ages 15–17.
Skipping School: Peers sometimes influence each other to skip classes and ditch school altogether, hurting their academic performance.
Bullying And Cyberbullying: Many kids participate in bullying because they want to fit in and avoid being bullied themselves.
Academic Dishonesty: Kids are often tempted to cheat because of peer pressure.
Apathetic Behavior: Due to negative peer pressure, teenagers often start to show habitual apathetic behavior over time.
Why Do People Give In To Negative Peer Pressure?
It’s simple: Many young people go along with negative peer pressure because they want to fit in with their friends. While some of this is from natural teenage curiosity, a large part of negative peer pressure is fueled by the fear of being left out.
No one, especially teenagers, wants to feel ostracized from their friend group. Because young people are already dealing with insecurities that come with going through puberty, they’re increasingly vulnerable to outside influences — even if they’re negative.
The Importance Of Family Support In Combatting Stressors For Teens And Negative Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is a part of almost every teenager’s life. But just because it’s unavoidable doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk to your child about how to handle it. This helps them make independent decisions, stay true to themselves, increase self-esteem, and develop resilience that will help them later in life.
How To Talk To Your Children About Peer Pressure And Encourage Strong Moral Values
Sit Them Down In A Safe Environment: Address them in a calm, respectful manner at home where they feel comfortable and safe. Let them know that you’re coming from a place of affection and that you just want the best for them.
Encourage Communication And Questions: Having an open and honest dialogue with your kids can help strengthen your relationship and make them feel more comfortable talking with you. If they feel like they can come to you with a problem or conflict, even if it’s embarrassing, you’ll be able to help them and set them on the right path.
Show Them The Importance Of Individuality: Many teenagers want to fit in, but you can show them the value of being their own person and doing what’s best for them. This is hard for many teenagers to realize in the moment, especially when they’re afraid of being an outsider. However, instilling this mindset can help them make the right decision when they’re pressured by a peer.
Steer Them Towards Positive Influences: Do what you can to encourage them to hang out with other kids with a strong moral compass. This can be hard (often teenagers don’t want to listen to their parents out of spite) but surrounding them with the right people can set them up to be more confident in themselves and keep them away from dangerous or harmful situations.
Clearly Discuss Consequences And Set Expectations: Before your child finds themselves in a tough situation or you catch them succumbing to negative peer pressure, let them know what will happen. Not only is this a good motivational tool for staying away from that behavior, but it also shows the dangers of what can happen to them by doing drugs, drinking, or sabotaging their futures.
Stay Involved In Your Kids’ Lives: The best thing you can do for your children is to stay close to them. Take an interest, keep up with what they like to do, and become an example of a good person that they can model themselves after. Becoming their friend (with healthy boundaries, of course) will make them feel valued and loved.
Help Them Envision Their Future Life: Talk to your kids about their goals and what they’d like to do. Teenagers will soon need to leave the nest — either for college or a job. Make them think about what their future will look like and show them what they’ll need to do to get there. Showing them what’s possible is a wonderful way to keep them on track and make them value the right things.
Use Bible Verses As A Way Of Communicating: The Bible is always a fantastic way to talk with your child. Find some verses that apply to your situation and use them to help tell your story. Encouraging kids to get involved with church and live a faith-based sober life can also help them avoid dangerous situations and meet peers that push them in a positive direction.
Using Assertiveness Training To Deal With Negative Peer Pressure
As part of the Life Skills component of our clinical programming, our young boys learn assertiveness training so they can strengthen their ability to set relationship boundaries and stand up to peer pressure in everyday life (It is also an effective practice for parents wishing to set better boundaries with their kids). At the end of the program, our young men can better express themselves in healthy ways and communicate without being aggressive.
What Is Assertiveness Training?
Assertiveness training is a form of therapy that empowers people to confidently stick up for what they want and express their needs without feeling any fear, embarrassment, or shame. It helps you be more direct, honest, and straightforward with others.
How Can Assertiveness Training Help With Peer Pressure?
By equipping your child or yourself with the skills to communicate needs, you make the societal norms of peer pressure significantly less impactful. This can be especially helpful in situations where your kid might not want to participate in something his or her friends are doing but feels afraid to refuse and separate themselves.
How The Carpenter Shed Can Help A Misguided Young Man With Peer Pressure
At The Carpenter Shed, we’re experts at working with young men that feel unmotivated, frequently engage in dangerous behaviors, and give in to negative peer pressure. Our 6-month long program uses a thematic approach to help boys understand the key domains for living a healthy life and shines light on what is truly important. It’s broken up into four phases: Reset, Rebuild, Redefine, and Renew. Each one works to set your child up for a successful, independent, and rewarding future.
Whether it’s pornography, drugs, alcohol, excessive electronic use, or Failure To Launch syndrome, we introduce purpose, meaning, and direction into their lives.
Contact us today if you’d like to learn more about our program and see how we can help your son.
Sources:
Author:
